"The World's Greatest Talk Host"
Jim Greenfield is back on the radio and the question million of listeners are asking is ....
Listen to the "World's Greatest Talk Host" in Action.
SO WHO’S THIS
- The smartest guy he knows.
- A controversial talk host with a profound knowledge of the United States Constitution. At least that’s what he says.
- The world’s greatest debater. What makes Jim the world’s greatest debater, you ask? If Jim’s losing the debate, he suddenly switches sides, and starts arguing the opposite position. If that doesn’t work, Jim accuses his opponent of being a child molester, or threatens to report him to the IRS. If these crude tactics fail, and Jim loses anyway, he still claims to be the world’s greatest debater because he’s very clever about making up excuses. Also, nobody else even cares about being the world’s greatest debater, so Jim can claim whatever he wants.
- The only talk host in America who’s ever had a live interview with the infamous Al Qaeda terrorist Abu Musab Al Zarqawi. Jim played the role of peacemaker (or“pimp” if you prefer) by offering to procure for Zarqawi 72 virgins here on earth if the horny terrorist would stop cutting off people’s heads and lay down his arms. Zarqawi almost went for the deal. But Jim’s boss, network President Victor Ives, with some embarrassment, was later forced to issue this disclaimer concerning the historic interview: “Okay, so, as it turned out, it wasn’t really Zarqawi, but, hey, you coulda fooled me.”
Jim later had a live interview with Army Specialist, Charles Grainer – convicted in the infamous Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse case. Jim made fun of Grainer’s interrogation techniques, saying only abunch of pansies would think you could get terrorists to talk by putting panties on their head. This insult made Grainer irate. So Jim calmed him down by admitting he sometimes puts panties on his own head (which irritates his wife cause it stretches the elastic). Of course, as it turned out, a red- faced network President Ives was forced to again issue a disclaimer: “Okay, so it wasn’t really Grainer, but, hey, you coulda fooled me on this one too.”
- Jim Greenfield is the only talk host in America ever to – pathetically - start his own fan club. Of course, getting members has been slow going. When he finally got enough members to form a chapter, Jim ran for President of the Jim Greenfield Fan Club himself, but lost out to a candidate who ran on a platform of converting it to a Sean Hannity Fan Club.
- Jim is one of the few talk hosts who doesn’t rely primarily on personal attacks, invective, and character assassination. Jim prefers to discuss ideas. Only if he is losing the debate does he resort to personal attacks, invective, and character assassination.
- Jim Greenfield’s better than other talk hosts. He’s more mentally stable than Mike Savage, nicer to his callers than Dr. Laura, and not as big a jackass as Howard Stern. So, ok, that’s not saying much. But, hey, at least he’s trying.
- Unlike other talk hosts Jim never rudely hangs up on his callers. Callers usually hang up on him.
THE JIM GREENFIELD
"SEND YOUR MONEY TO ME!" PERENNIAL PLEDGE DRIVE:
“Hey,” says Jim. “If NPR can get away with pledge drives shamelessly asking for money, why shouldn’t I? So…. Send your money to me! Send it today! Send it right now! Why Wait? I need your money and I need it now. You probably don’t know what to do with it anyway. You’ll just waste it buying a bunch of useless junk for your uncaring wife and your ungrateful kids. So why not just send your money to me instead? I know what to do with it. Besides, I have 4 kids, a wife, an ex-wife, and my ex-wife’s boyfriend to support. So help keep the Jim Greenfield Show on the air. Y’know, I can’t sell any advertising because the advertisers are too stupid to appreciate how great my show is. So I need your support to stay on the air. Well, maybe not your support necessarily, but somebody’s support so it might as well be you. And remember: NONE OF THE MONEY GOES TO CHARITY – I KEEP IT ALL!” Jim
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